Little Miss Independent

This morning, my daughter waved to me from her bus window and I lost it. My entire commute to work, warm tears steadily streamed down my face. I was stunned at my reaction, so naturally, my brain started processing what just happened and why!

While crying is typically associated with sadness or mourning, it also serves as an emotional connection to the Holy Spirit. I recently read an article, in fact, about the gift of tears. It stated that, "It is the overflow of a spiritual experience in an emotional/physiological expression that creates deep comfort in one's soul, and deep encouragement for the person who receives the gift, as well as (sometimes) for others who happen to witness it.” (www.spiritdaily.org/gifttears1.htm)

So, was that a form of spiritual connection? In my humble opinion, I do believe it was a connection. I am a praying woman; I always find myself asking God to show me His unfailing love. And in that single moment of such a seemingly routine hand wave, I heard Him. In that instant, I heard him speak to me, telling me that deep-rooted love I feel for my sweet precious Vivian, is how He feels about me. It’s an unwavering type of love, buried so deep in the depths of my soul, nothing will ever change how I feel about her. Nothing will ever change how He feels about me.

So, why this wave? Why did God choose this moment to answer my little prayer? That’s the next question my logical brain started to ponder. Well, if you know anything about me, you know I’ve always been a very independent person. It started when I was a very young girl, so it’s no shocker that my sweet, precious Vivian is also turning into a very strong, independent lady. Being independent has served me well over the years, through many trials & tribulations. I want Vivian to be able to endure what life throws at her; knowing I’ve done my best to equip her with the right tools for the job, it gives me peace.

So here we are, she’s turning 7 this Spring, and she oozes the qualities of a real Miss Independent. She loves to problem solve on her own; so, I encourage that by taking a step back. I beam with pride when she succeeds, but I’m right there if she does fail and needs reassurance. She is very observant of her surroundings and is not afraid to speak about what she sees. Sometimes, I feel she has no filter, but I recognize this is a healthy form of expression, so I keep my own filters in check. She no longer needs my help to pick out her clothes for the next day or fix her hair. She’s even savvy enough to ask me about the next day’s weather & plans her outfit, accordingly.

The other morning, she had gotten up early and was standing next to me while I fixed my coffee. I have a little routine of items I put into our Vitamix, so she watched me squirt 2 tablespoons of MCT oil and 1 scoop of Collagen into the blender. Then I grabbed the piping hot pot of coffee and poured 16 ounces in, before blending everything together. I blend for approximately 15 seconds, waiting for that perfectly smooth caramel color. I then poured it into my cup & proceeded with making her breakfast. She looked at me when I was done making my coffee and said, “I could do that.”, to which I responded, “How about I let you help me make it this weekend?”

Saturday morning, I had just begun to wake when I heard a light “clinking” trail of noises coming from the kitchen. I immediately knew my sweet, precious Vivian was attempting to make her Momma a cup of coffee! I shot out of bed into the kitchen out of fear she was going to break the pot & send hot coffee all over the place. Luckily, I prevented a disaster, albeit with a little stealthy finesse, so as not to make her feel embarrassed. The last thing you want to do, is crush their spirit. That morning, I enjoyed the most delicious cup of coffee, while we snuggled together watching morning cartoons.

That wave this morning was not just any wave; in fact, I don’t get a wave from her every day. This was a special wave; a wave from my sweet precious Vivian, that gave me the reassurance I needed to know that we’re doing okay. She may be getting older and she may prefer to do things on her own, but she loves that I am her Momma. She knows I’ve got her back and will never forsake her. She knows that no matter how much she may push away, in her attempt to do it all on her own, that I’m still right there for her, always and forever. Through that simple wave, on this simple Monday morning, God told me the exact same thing.